It's an often used phrase, 'Don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs' but what does it actually mean? In this age of squalid, damp, poorly regulated nursing homes your grandmother is more likely to be buggered senseless by her big, burly carer than spend much time passing on this ancient custom. With the wonderful tool that is the internet, anyone can teach anything to anyone, so I set out to revive the long forgotten art of sucking eggs.

Unless you're a professional footballer, international pop star, circus freak, glamour photographer, or dwarf pimp (which works both ways), the word 'Work' does not fill you with joy. So what happens if you wake up one morning and just don't want to go to work? There are tips that you can follow to ensure you get the maximum benefit from your unofficial day off, with the minimum of fuss.

Oxygen: you can't touch it, you can't see it, you can't taste it, but the Government insists we need it. If that's true, why don't they tax it? Is it all a big conspiracy to keep Tony Blair in power, soldiers in Iraq, and baked beans orange?

In this report I explore the pros and cons of oxygen, discovering along the way whether we actually need it or not, and if it really grows on trees.