Satan's Side PDF Print E-mail
Sunday, 22 January 2006 13:34
This morning, having driven home from Sheffield through the night and only having had 4 hours sleep, I was rudely awoken by a pair of Seventh Day Adventists only too eager to spread the word of God. After I promptly told them where they could stick their bibles I went back to bed. It then got me thinking...what would happen if Lucifer sent his minions out door knocking and telling his side of the story? Would he have a higher conversion rate?

Good...bad...right...wrong. Surely it's all about opinion. The September 11th attacks: bad for the thousands of innocent Americans who died, good for the terrorists. The Gulf War: good for the oil greedy 'Great White Satan', bad for the innocent Iraqi people. The Great Flood: good for God as he got to repopulate the Earth with Noah's spawn, bad for Beelzebub as all the hard work he had put in went to waste.

So, much like election time, what if Satanists turned up at your doorstep with another version of the bible in their hands offering to tell you Satan's side? Would you invite them in for a chat, or would you have at them with picthforks and flaming torches?

Most of you will think you'd err on the side of caution and send them on their way, but I think the real answer would be more surprising, and the reason is this...marketing.

Let's look at it this way, Christianity have the Ten Commandments, a list of things that you're forbidden to do. Unfortunately, some of these things are things we already do or we'd like to do. 'Thou shalt not covet' is an interesting one to start with. Coveting is what drives us as human beings, we have to have what someone else has got if we don't have it, we have to "keep up with the Jones'". It has become the subject of many a television sitcom, so does that mean these entertainment programmes are promoting evil?

'Thou shalt not take the Lord your God's name in vain' well Jesus Christ this is a hard one. We do it when we stub our toe, or when we see bad things happen on the news. It's ingrained in us and our everyday doings. I don't think there's one person who can honestly say they have never blasphemed.

'Thou shalt not commit adultery' Tricky, tricky one. People shouldn't really have extra-marital relations because they want a quickie, it's just not the done thing, but what if you've made a mistake, what if you're stuck in a marriage turned sour and find your soul-mate later on in life? Are you going to go to hell?

'Thou shall have no other gods besides Me. Do not make a sculpted image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above' Christ almighty! All Christians will spend their lives in eternal pain. They go to church on on Sundays and bow down before a huge crucifix. Some wear a crucifix around their necks, even Pope Julius II comissioned Michelangelo to paint God on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Let's not forget the rest of us who put angels on the top of our Christmas trees.

 I could go on and on about the Ten Commandments, but let's look at the flip side. What are the rules we need to adhere to in order to follow The Prince of Darkness (and I don't mean Ozzy)...there aren't any. We don't need to do anything, we simply go on as we are. That has got to be one in the eye for God.

Let's now look at the delivery of the word. The bible is taught by po-faced middle-aged to elderly people in big, cold, humourless buildings. It's full of pomp and ceremony, and most of it is impossible to understand without someone sitting down and explaining it to you in laymen's terms which is full of that someone's own interpretation and may not contain much real content.

To guarantee membership of club Mephistopheles you simply do nothing. If you want to go the whole hog and get involved in satanic rituals, it would probably involve young, nubile, naked women and lots of sex.

Ok, so that's all well and good, but what are the benefits of either side?

If you throw your lot in with the Holy Trinity you're guaranteed everlasting life in the kingdom of heaven. Great! Oh, hang on...don't you have to pretty much abstain from doing anything remotely enjoyable whilst on earth, and didn't Jesus, the son of God, have a bloody terrible time whilst he was down here? Admittedly, we were told that we went up to heaven and now sits at God's right hand, but we don't have any real proof that this heaven exists anyway. I mean, it's not as if we've seen a brochure with pictures of fluffy white clouds and everyone smiling with happiness.

  If you decide you're going to follow in Faustus' footsteps and sell your soul to The Devil you're guaranteed power and knowledge. Practically anything you could possibly want you can get. Oh, but hang on won't you be damned for eternity to suffer pain and agony in hell? You think, but again...no brochure, and we're only going by what we're told by the Christian church.

What we're always taught when judging any argument is to listen to both sides of the story and make our minds up once we have all the facts. But for thousands of years all we've heard is what God says. I'm not saying that everything about Christianity in any form is all rubbish, I'm simply saying that there must be an alternative version to all this that we haven't yet heard...Diablo hasn't written an international best-seller.

So if someone knocks on your door proclaiming to be from your local Satanic club, don't turn them away, sit them down make them a cup of tea and listen to what they have to say.
 

 
Comments
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Deep Posted by Victoria 2006-04-01 10:23:43
Couldn't agree more and was thinking of starting my own little group called
" lucifer's witnesses" waddaya think???

I like it. Posted by JimmerUK 2006-04-04 03:30:17
Remember to get charity status for all the tax benefits.

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