Oxygen - What's it all about? PDF Print E-mail
Monday, 07 November 2005 12:51
Oxygen: you can't touch it, you can't see it, you can't taste it, but the Government insists we need it. If that's true, why don't they tax it? Is it all a big conspiracy to keep Tony Blair in power, soldiers in Iraq, and baked beans orange?

In this report I explore the pros and cons of oxygen, discovering along the way whether we actually need it or not, and if it really grows on trees.

Sting talks about every breath he takes, Mick Hucknell whines that you're the air that he breathes, and Destiny's Child shout that they're going to lose their breath (if that's the case, should they not stop singing?).

What are they all going on about?

Well, when it comes down to it, something called 'Oxygen', that's what.

This 'oxygen' is supposedly all around us, in our hair, clothes, cupboards, and shoes. It's like some kind of gaseous god, an omnipotent, malevolent thing that can, and does, take lives at will. 'Oxygen' is part of a larger body of gases called 'Air'.

Some say 'Air' is controlled by a clandestine government department, although that's not strictly true. There is a covert team with an Air dossier, but to say that They control it is like saying that snails control the weather. Like snails and weather, They have an awareness of it, study it, predict it to some degree, and report back their findings to a committee, but They can't actually influence it one way or another.

Although 'Oxygen' only consists of one fifth of 'Air' it is supposedly by far the most important, and dangerous, yet the government demands that we use it, even going so far as to force us to rely on it from birth. If you watch a video of a baby being born into water you'll notice that they can swim around quite happily, and sometimes even smile in the calm blue liquid, but as soon as they are brought to the surface they immediately start screaming as if in pain. This is because shortly after we are born we are secretly exposed to a large dose of 'Air' and instantly become addicted to 'Oxygen' so that we can't live without it. You can prove this to yourself: try to stop breathing for as long as you can....you will start to feel uncomfortable, turn red, and your body will go into spasm, eventually you'll die. Proof indeed that our systems have become submitted to so much 'Oxygen' over the years that we can't bear to go without it.

There is a small underground movement dedicated to finding an alternative to 'Oxygen', and even conducting experiments to see if we can do without it altogether. Unfortunately, there have been many martyrs but their deaths will not be in vain, as each person who dies brings us closer to an answer. There is a small group who believe that we have become so dependent on 'Oxygen' that there is no alternative, but still wanting to help they have decided to create their own so they don't have to rely on Government 'Oxygen'. Apparently 'Oxygen' can be generated from special plants. These plants are kept for months in small, hot rooms and kept under hi-tech ultra-violet lights The technology for making 'UV Light'  was stolen from a secret Government laboratory 3 years ago, where it was suspected that small amounts of a mind-controlling drug (codenamed CO2) was being added to public 'Air'. The 'UV' light is so bright that if it comes into contact with human skin it can disintegrate it in minutes! This is why a special crack team of rebel scientists called The Rastarfarians have made it their lives work to find a safe way to create 'Oxygen' against all odds. Only last week I read in the paper that one of these rebels had been arrested and sent to jail. The photograph showed a number of plants being taken from his house by Government forensic officers in white hooded suits.

As well as being to blame for keeping your body a prisoner, 'Oxygen' is responsible for a number of supposed 'natural disasters'. 'Oxygen' can start huge fires that can burn down massive areas of land, killing animals, people and plants. It can also be used to knock down buildings in the form of 'hurricanes'.
  These 'Hurricanes' are quite openly admitted to existing by the Government, even to the degree that they release the special codenames such as Gilbert, Wilma, and Bertha. What they don't tell you, however, is that  these 'Hurricanes' are the byproduct of secret tests on weapons-grade 'Oxygen'. The 'Oxygen' is brewed in huge vats, and spun around at frightening speeds in a massive centrifuge. It is then mixed with clouds so that they can see it, as 'Oxygen' is normally invisible. The scientists conducting these experiments are still none the wiser and more often than not the monsters that they create escape into the atmosphere and cause havoc and destruction.

So what can we do about it? Not much. As we are so reliant on this 'Oxygen' until there is a substitute found we can't boycott. You can however write to your local MP and get him to pressure the Government into releasing all the classified files on 'Oxygen' into the public domain. Only once this is out in the open can we start to make right some of the wrongs that have happened.

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