Number Three - The Almost Never Was PDF Print E-mail
Friday, 08 December 2006 00:00
Internet RoundupIt's been a tough week with the website going down for a few days (this one amongst others I run) and everyone's favourite Jim has been battling with web monsters to get everything back online in time for the fans. It was all worth it though, just to see your smiling faces, I can see you, really, stop picking your nose.

This week: Fanny flowers, reaction to Coke, origami, goatse, polar bears, granny fight, boobies, Santa, clowns and more.

Fanny Flowers
Flowers that look like fannies. Need I say more?

Origami Fun
"Crease patterns provide a one-step connection from the unfolded square to the folded form, compressing hundreds of creases, and sometimes hours of folding, into a single diagram!" Print these off and make spiders, crabs, roses, and much more.

Death by Caffeine
Everyone's favourite Jim is a bit of a caffeine fiend, consuming roughly 5 cups of coffee (black no sugar please), and two cans of coke (diet thanks) a day at work, plus umpteen cups of tea once home. Surely I must be close to death, and this is the place to find out.
What Happens When You Drink a Coke
Following on from the caffeine theme, here's what happens when you drink a Coke. Have you ever wondered why Coke comes with a smile? It’s because it gets you high. They took the cocaine out almost a hundred years ago. You know why? It was redundant.

Microsoft Goatse
Now we can all imagine what would happen if any of us used MS's images, they'd send eleventy-seven lawyers and sue us into next week. The tables were turned on this guy when MS used one of his pictures.After all his emails were ignored requesting the image be taken down, he resorted to the one things that would get notice: swapping the image for one of Goatse.

Dig Straight Down
Everyone as a kid wondered where they would pop out if they dug straight down in their back garden. A few of them (me included) actually embarked on this adventure (although I stopped when my plastic spade hit a level of flint stones). Thing is, what if you made it and popped out in the ocean. This site tells you exactly where you would end up, just double click on the map.
Worst Website of the Week
There must be a fetish for everything, and unfortunately the interweb has given these crayzees a platform to share. Have a look at these men dressed as various girls. Go on I dare you.



Drunk Polar Bear
What would happen at a quiet tea party if a drunk bear suddenly gatecrashed and terrorised the place? Trashing everything, and injuring some of the party goers? Probably something like this. After watching the video, bid on the bear suit on eBay. Yay.

Shadow Fun
That crayzee haired Nord Lasse Gjertsen has been at it again. This time it's not his usual fast editing style a la 'Amateur' and 'Hyperactive', this time he's off chasing his own shadow, with hilarious consequences.

Granny Fight
Two grannies sitting quietly, then start battering each other with their handbags. My money's on the one in blue.

Target Practice
Crayzee 'Merkins letting an Afghan soldier do target practice at them. Personally I wouldn't have done it in the first place, but I certainly would have stopped after the first shot missed!

Amazing Stop Motion Battle
This must have taken an age and a day to make. An epic battle between two friends, all in stop motion. Jim's favourite bit: Where one guy 'surfs' the other.

Voicemail
Why girls should use voicemail, and guys should invest in a pair of binoculars.



Yule Lob
Santa's flying high above the houses delivering the presents, but he needs help. Press the left and right cursor keys to launch the pressies as santa flys along in his sleigh.

Escape from Clownatraz
Someone's locked up all the clowns in jail. Help them escape by throwing them over the wall into the laundry van. Not as easy as it sounds.




It very nearly didn't happen but everyone's favourite Jim battled through and flew in the face of adversity to bring this week's Internet Roundup. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I cried.











It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.
- Harry Hill

I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie.
- Sting

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- Dean Martin







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